I went to the Museum of Motherhood‘s opening Gala tonight. I went because obviously the subject interests me, personally and professionally. I also went because I wanted to support Joy Rose (founder of Mamapalooza and the Museum of Motherhood, or M.O.M.) who keeps doing really interesting and cool things relating to motherhood and the recognition of motherhood as a job. (“Mother: the Job” is the current exhibit hanging by Alexia Nye Jackson). I had no idea how much I really needed to be there or what it would do for me.

The Museum of Motherhood is a pop up one that Joy has fundraised for in order to open. If it flies between now and December, it will become a more permanent space.

What struck me was how moving it was to be in a room filled with mothers, and men who respect mothers, expressing themselves, through art, music and performance, about the things we’re all going through. I secretly kept choking up, surprised by how much I needed to be here commisserating, laughing and choking up with this group of people. I clearly needed to take the time out to reflect and to feel the weight and the joy and the pressure of the every day job of mothering, and this was a great opportunity to do that.

 

Erin Marra over at Lovesomeblog.com posted a really nice piece about Momma Love and expressed a question I’ve heard many times now. WHEN IS THIS BOOK COMING OUT?? Let me assure you I’ll shout it from the highest hills when it’s out. It’s definitely been a long, really great journey, during which the book has become much stronger and better, so I’m glad for the time it’s had to simmer.

Check out Lovesome here.

July 3, 2011, I boarded the Caledonian sleeper train out of London headed to Fort William, Scotland, with my husband, my 21 month old son, a folding push chair, a car seat, and a formidable amount of baggage (physical, not necessarily emotional). This was a trip made in the middle of a three week vacation that would include stops off in Norfolk and London in England, the tiny remote village of Applecross in the Highlands of Scotland, and finally Findhorn, an infamous self sustaining commune in Northern Scotland where we would visit good friends and their 20 month old daughter.

I’ve always wanted to take a sleeper train. It sounds so romantic. I never really envisioned it this way, with baby and tons of luggage. I think I imagined one neatly packed carry on which would include space for a rather hefty bottle of Scottish whiskey that Joshua and I would share as we alternatively watched the scenery whizz past and stared into each others’ eyes.

(more photos below)

Despite being different than my fantasy, I have to say, the trip from England to Scotland on the sleeper train with baby and all was, in its own way, still quite romantic. The sway of the train while we slept, the dining car, where we did actually manage to share two mini-bar sized Glenfiddichs and a toast while Harper played with the whiskey containers…

Our berth was an intimidating 4 feet wide x 6 ½ feet long. I was relieved to find that the extensive therapy I’ve done to confront my at times debilitating claustrophobia paid off in spades and I was able to manage well. Joshua is something of a master at organizing and tucking things away in small spaces, and I am a master at stepping aside and allowing him to do so. So the room, although unbelievably tight for three, was actually quite cozy. Less cozy in actuality, although it sounded very sweet in theory, was the sleeping arrangement which had me snuggled with baby Harper onto a plank passing as a bed that had to have been no more than 2 ½ feet wide. Sleeping with a toddler starts off all warm and fuzzy. You stroke their hair. You feel their little chest rising and falling under your hand.  Feel their breath land gently on your cheek. You think “this is heaven! Why don’t I always do this?” About an hour in, you wake up to a foot in your throat and the sickly sweet smell of a sweaty baby’s head.

Joshua and I managed very well. Amidst it all, we only had three sharp and short lived pissy exchanges borne out of frustration and physical challenges. We generally enjoyed every second of it, feeling exhausted but quite accomplished when we arrived on the other end.

As I write this, I’m sitting in the dining car the morning after our equally successful, albeit somewhat less enjoyable, return trip from Fort William to London. This time the trip has been sandwiched between a 4 hour car ride and a pending 7 hour flight with no breaks in between thanks to a two hour middle of the night train breakdown that we only now found out about. Last night’s bunking with baby was much more challenging due to… I wish I knew. It’s just like that sometimes, I guess.  I woke feeling ten years older. I caught a glimpse of myself in the cabin’s absurdly thin sliver of a mirror upon baby Harper’s 5 am wake and cry fest and I thought “wow! Will I ever look rested again? I feel ancient, brittle, saggy.” After a couple more hours sleep, I feel better than I did at 5 am, but still far from rejuvenated.

But still, the view from the window is incredible and I still love the rocking of the train. And my time on the sleeper train with hubby and baby actually was quite romantic.

I recently got to participate in this very cool project by The Family Values at Work Consortium. They fight for better policy on paid sick days and affordable family leave. Some of the other stories are really powerful! Check out Lourdes!

(Please forgive the fact that I call my 18 month old son my “18 year old son”. It’s the brain of a person with an 18 month old son talking…)

 

Lizzy Bromley, the art director behind the beautiful Wither cover I got to shoot for Simon and Schuster, did a 3 part interview about the cover with behind the scenes photos here and here and here.

For over 30 years, Mothering Magazine has been discussing what it’s really like to live life as a mother. What better place to have work from “Momma Love; How the Mother Half Lives” featured… In the January/ February issue (which you can find online here), there is a beautifully done Momma Love editorial featuring portraits and snippets of text from some of the Momma Love mommas.

Please pass the article around to anyone you think might enjoy it, and have a look through the whole magazine if you have the chance. There’s a lot of good stuff in there.

You can also download a PDF of the article below. And check out the Mothering Magazine blog.
caught in the act of mothering

I’m excited to share the news that an editorial spread about my project Momma Love ; How the Mother Half Lives is featured in the Jan/Feb issue of Mothering Magazine! Mothering is a very cool magazine that discusses all aspects of motherhood in a raw, unfliching way. It’s available for sale at Borders, Barnes & Noble, Whole Foods, Babies R Us in the U.S. and Chapters in Canada, as well as in many independent book, natural food, and baby stores across North America.

Please spread the word!

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I shot the cover for Lauren DeStefano’s amazing novel, Wither, earlier this year, and just completed the shoot for the cover to the sequal. The second shoot was even more over the top than the first set up. I love this cover (designed by Lizzy Bromley at Simon and Schuster), and the premiss of the story is extremeley compelling. Check it out on Lauren’s website.

And now for 8 Questions with Lauren DeStefano:

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what is the natural talent you wish you had?

I don’t know if this is considered a talent, but I’ve always wished I had better handwriting. In
elementary school, my teachers would put me through something I can only call a Penmanship Bootcamp, and I failed horribly. I can scarcely read my own grocery list.

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what makes you happy?

xA combination snowy day, purring cat, and a good literary tragedy I can get lost in.

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what makes you miserable?

Mornings. I avoid them when at all possible.

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what’s the first book that influenced you?

There are so many wonderful books I read in my childhood that have stayed with me, such as the American Girl series and the Ramona Quimby books. But I have to say the first book to leave a permanent footprint with me was The Other Side of Midnight by Sidney Sheldon. It’s perhaps the first adult  book I read, and I was mystified and at the same time horrified by the characters. The ending is one that still takes my breath away over a decade later.
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what’s your favorite motto or saying?

“There is no satisfactory explanation of style, no infallible guide to good writing, no assurance that a person who thinks clearly will be able to write clearly, no key that unlocks the door, no inflexible rule by which the young writer may shape his course. He will often find himself steering by stars that are disturbingly in motion.” ~ This comes from Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White
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What are you reading?

Fall on Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald.
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What are you listening to?

Dice, by Finley Quaye
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what did you think when you first saw your cover for Wither? (I know, that’s cheeky of me… )

When I saw the cover, I wasn’t thinking in words so much as in bright lights and exploding rainbows and harpsichord music.

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Thank you, Lauren.

Momma Love’s Kitty Stillufsen (who I photographed for Marie Claire a couple of months ago) was on The Nate Show, along with her parenting partners and couple, Darren Greenblatt and Sam Hunt. They were talking about their unique parenting situation.

See clips from the show here and here and look for some of the photos we did together in the show’s montage introduction.